Vegan New York baked cheesecake

My New York Cheesecake that you’ll never guess it’s vegan. It’s delicious on its own, extraordinary when topped up with berries. Discover all the tricks for the perfect baked cheesecake!

It’s a difficult phase of my life, with lots of uncertainty. Nothing bad, do not worry, but I feel quite unsettled and need to find a new balance.

My mind keeps going in circles. I feel I am running a marathon with a finishing line so far away that I forget when I even started running.

I feel feelings are becoming me and not keeping that famous healthy distance.

I normally find refuge in the kitchen, experimenting with new ingredients or going back to comforting classics. This time round, walking has been my anchor. I do love going for long walks especially in this gorgeous weather!

I listen to music in full blast, I stop being my feelings and I become lyrics.

When I come back home, my body is tired but my mind re-energised.

At the end of one of these long walks, I decided to make a cheesecake for no reason.

I don’t know about you, but I always feel cheesecake is something you can’t possibly bake for yourself. In my mind, it is a grand gesture cake.

First of all, it’s a tricky recipe that requires extra effort. You got to carefully follow a series of steps. Secondly, it’s quite expensive as you need lots of cheese and berries for that acidic note that makes it irresistible. Thirdly, I crave this cake quite often but after I have a slice, I feel I am good for the next six months. In my opinion, it’s a cake made for sharing.

However, after that long refreshing walk, I ignored all these thoughts and went straight for it. I will make a celebratory cake for myself only, for absolutely no reason, except doing what feels good.

I smiled all the way through the baking. It’s been so many years since I made a cheesecake last, and I couldn’t wait to eat it all. I also wanted to make it vegan as I don’t think diary and eggs play a central role in the cake – despite I know cheese is the biggest component.

The first mouthful brought me back to uni, the last days of my bachelor. I was 21 and I met a lovely girl at the library. She was so clever, kind, and funny. In the space of two days, we became great close friends as young people do. We endlessly talked and walked around Milan and I became friend with all her friends. We talked about our past and our future. I envisioned what my life would be as best friends forever.

Too bad that these days were my last days living in Italy, departing the day after to a new life in Copenhagen.

That night I was saying my goodbyes, going back home for a last dinner with my family before the big departure. That night she also had her birthday party. Her (real) best friend brought a cheesecake with a mountain of berries at that top. One more sign she was truly the coolest girl on the block. Homemade cheesecake for your party. They asked me to stay but I really had to go.

I never had that cheesecake. Life goes by so fast at that age that we lost touch and I totally forgot about her and the cheesecake till now.

Going back home, leaving the birthday party before it had even started, I thought of all the things I wasn’t. I wasn’t going to go to the party, I wasn’t her real friend, I wasn’t the cool girl having someone making you cheesecake.

I started to feel defined only by all the things I wasn’t and all the things I couldn’t. Diminishing myself in these nos. Getting stuck in the impossible.

Ten years onwards, I am stopping the chain and making myself that cheesecake.

I know what happened after that no birthday party. I went to Copenhagen, I become the real friend of other people, and I might still not be the cool girl on the block, but I know I am enough.

Growing up (through our entire life), we forget this so often. We are enough.

We are defined by both what we don’t and what we do in life – either by choice or by wild cards. But this is enough.

Eating my cheesecake, I think of how grateful I am to have met that person even for just two days in my life. I might not remember her name anymore, but her spontaneity, generosity and courage gave me a boost in life and that’s enough.

Also, is never too late to reach out again, right?

I hope you enjoy my vegan New York cheesecake, at a party, after dinner or on your own after a long sunny walk.